by What does leadership mean to me? This question has been on my mind, especially as I reflected professionally on my next steps. It took me back to a moment from my undergraduate days. While attending a class at a well-known coaching institute, where young minds were being trained to crack the coveted management school entrance exams, I first encountered a dilemma between personal values and professional training.
In one session, the instructor asked students to share their hobbies. A student said he enjoyed playing the guitar. The teacher latched onto this and began quizzing him- How many strings does a guitar have? Who invented it? What are the different types? On and on.
The point he was trying to make was clear: if you mention a hobby in an interview, you must know everything about it. In other words, you should claim a hobby only if you have mastered it.
I was in that class, and my immediate reaction was one of discomfort. Aren’t hobbies supposed to be a source of joy, an outlet, a break from the pressures of study, work, and societal expectations? If hobbies too must be mastered and scrutinized, how are they different from our formal education or professional lives?
Of course, I am not saying that one should not learn or improve in one’s chosen hobbies. But shouldn’t the control lie with us? We should be able to decide what we want to learn, how deeply we want to engage, and at what pace. The idea that even something as personal as a hobby must meet institutional expectations felt deeply unsettling.
At the time, I did not speak up. But that class marked a quiet turning point. I realised I was not cut out for environments with such rigid structures. It felt as though the system was producing future leaders who were identical and unquestioning. And while this approach likely helped secure admissions to good colleges and high-paying jobs, I began to wonder: what kind of leaders does this approach produce? What values do they hold, professionally and interpersonally? How do they understand and approach problems, and how do they imagine solutions?
Eventually, I left the coaching midway. I also became disillusioned with conventional management courses and began searching for alternatives that felt more aligned with my temperament and value base. I was fortunate to find a programme that encouraged us to first unlearn, then question, and only then begin to learn. The pedagogy was designed to help students see beyond what was immediately in front of them, and to locate themselves within a larger context, one that was continually tested and refined through real-life work environments. The organisations and people I subsequently worked with shared these ideas of leadership, shaping not only how I understood them but how I learned to practice them.
Over time, these experiences shaped how I now think about leadership in practice. I have come to see leadership not as authority or individual decision-making power, but as a relational and institutional practice. For me, leadership begins with listening, locating oneself within existing systems, people, and organisational rhythms before attempting to intervene. It requires patience and a willingness to resist premature action in favour of shared sense-making. Rather than imposing direction, it is about enabling alignment, bridging vision and practice, and creating conditions where people feel a sense of responsibility, ownership, and accountability.
This has been incredibly rewarding as it has helped me find ease between my personal values and the work I do. In today’s world, where burnout and disillusionment are increasingly common, I believe this kind of alignment is essential.
Educational institutions and training programs, at all levels, should strive for this balance. Rather than producing individuals trained to perform mastery, optimise outcomes, and reach the top, perhaps the real goal should be to nurture people who can work collectively, question the systems they inhabit, and strive for meaningful impact. I end with a question- How do we design education and training in ways that nurture leaders who are not just skilled, but also reflective and grounded?
